Day 1183: Honouring our parents – Exodus 20 vs 12

12 “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. “ Exodus 20:12 English Standard Version

Just one verse today, but one that's full of significance. What is the good reason God gave to Israel for honouring their parents?

That their days would be long in the land He was giving them.

What a vital lesson this is. Israel's stability would depend on future generations obeying the Lord. In Deuteronomy 4:9 God said: “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children.” And in vs 25-26 He says: “When you father children and children's children, and have grown old in the land - if you act corruptly by making a carved image in the form of anything, and by doing what is evil in the sight of the Lord your God, so as to provoke him to anger - I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that you will soon utterly perish from the land that you are going over the Jordan to possess. You will not live long in it, but will be utterly destroyed.”

And this was not just for little children. The commandment implied that even as we grow older, we ought still to honour our parents. So, in the New Testament, Paul says, “Honour widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.” 1 Timothy 5:3-4.

But what does it mean to honour our parents?

Respecting them would certainly be high on the list. Listening to them, and taking their advice would be important. Proverbs 1:7-8 says: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching.” Obviously the best parent anyone could have is one who fears God, and loves His word. Sadly, this is not always the case. Even in Israel parents often forgot God, and turned to idol worship. And their ungodliness was handed down to the next generation. So too today, many, if not most homes, don't have the example of God fearing parents. Often the parents live lives that make it difficult for children to honour them.

However, speaking, to Christians, Paul said: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honour your father and mother'. This is the first commandment with a promise, 'that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land.' And to Christian fathers he says: ”Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:1-4) Parents need to take care that they are not stumbling blocks to their children. One way to do that is by being harsh and unfair. Another way is by living worldly lives, rather than holy ones. Paul spoke of widows in his day who were “self-indulgent” and not God fearing.

One of the big marks of a fallen society is disobedience to parents. Paul speaks of those who “did not see fit to acknowledge God”, so God “gave them up to debased minds to do what ought not to be done.” And amongst the murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness, and gossip, of such societies, he said they were also “disobedient to parents.” (Romans 1:29-30) In 2 Timothy 3:1-2 he says: “Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, and disobedient to their parents.”

God's promise of “living long in the land” was conditional. It involved God fearing parents teaching His ways to the next generation, and for each generation to honour parents who had taught them the ways of the Lord. May those who are parents today seek to be such parents who love and serve Jesus Christ. And may the hearts of their children be inclined to honour them, and to obey the Lord.